Chapter Four

*This story runs during the equivalent of Season 3, with some skewing of timelines and information, as it is an Alternate Universe, based on the events of the television series. Canon parts are worked in with my own.

Sam was amazed by all the flowers in Honey’s room. It was a private room, and the baby was in there with her. Flowers had been sent from friends, clients, business associates.

“They’ll release me tonight,” she smiled at him and held out her hand to him. “Come sit with me.”

He sat on the edge of the bed carefully, watching as Honey nursed his daughter. A blanket covered the baby and the breast, but Sam still felt awkward.

“I would have been here,” he finally said, after a pause.

Honey smiled. “I know. Please stop apologizing. I owe you the apology, for not telling you. But I hope you’ll understand.”

Sam leaned forward, his green eyes earnest. “Honey, I understand you not wanting me to stop Hunting, I do, but this—my daughter—I mean, I have a daughter,” he finished, smiling and Honey felt her heart roll over.

“Yes,” she said simply, “you do. And I know you hate the fact that Dan is the legal father, but I promise you, it’s for your own protection. You have no idea what my father is capable of.”

Sam nodded. “Trixie told me that last night.”

“She’s not exaggerating Sam,” Honey said softly. “Daddy was mad I was pregnant but once he thought it was Dan’s, it made things considerably better.”

Sam shook his head. “I can’t give you anything, to help. You have money, you have resources, and I have no income anyway. I can’t send you money; I can’t see my daughter—”

“Sam,” she said gently, “stop.”

Sam’s puppy dog eyes looked at her sadly.

“You gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for. And you’re making the world safer for her, Sam, which is exactly what a father should do.”

Sam stared down at the floral sheets. Finally he looked up at her. “You know this isn’t what I want, but I’ll go along with it.”

“It’s for the best Sam. I will email you pictures everyday, if you want.”

Sam stared into her hazel eyes. “Marry me. Marry me, Honey.”

Her smile faded. “No, Sam, for the same reason I refused to marry Dan. I won’t marry for obligation. Only for love. And don’t try to say you love me. We hardly know each other.”

“I feel like I’ve known you forever,” he said softly. She smiled.

“So do I. But we haven’t. Now someday, when you’re ready to give up Hunting, and settle down, ask me again and it might be a different answer.”

Reaching under the blanket, she brought Elora out. The tiny face was scrunched up as the baby slept.

“She finished a minute ago,” Honey said. “Do you want to hold her?”

Sam’s eyes widened. “Me? Yeah.”

He took the baby carefully as Honey murmured, “Say hello to Daddy, Elora.”

Sam felt his heart break as he carefully held his daughter. He couldn’t tell whose features she had, but she definitely had dark hair, and a lot of it.

“She’s beautiful,” he murmured, cradling her in his arms.

“I bet she looks like you,” Honey said. “I hope so. I don’t even have a picture of you.”

Sam glanced up at her, surprised. “I didn’t know you wanted one.”

“It’d be nice,” she smiled. He smiled back.

“Of course. I’ll have Trixie take one or something before we go.”

Her smile faded just a bit. “When are you leaving?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Unless I really do give up Hunting.”

“No,” she said sharply. “Sam, we’ve been over this.”

“Honey,” he pleaded, “I can’t just walk away from my daughter and—you,” he finished, feeling lame.

“You have to Sam. I know about the demon, I know they could come after her.”

“You’re asking me to leave you defenseless against the very things that have taken everyone I love, except Dean, and it’s almost—almost got him once too.” Sam caught his slip. Dean was adamant the girls not know about his deal.

“I won’t be defenseless Sam,” she said. “I’ll have Trixie and Dan, and I know all about salting the windows.”

“What if it’s not enough?” he asked. “Sometimes it isn’t. We’re talking major power behind these demons.”

“Sam, listen to me. My father is as much a threat as the demon. He can make you disappear. You’re safer not around me.”

Sam ran his hands through his hair. “I hate this, Honey,” he said.

“I know,” she reached up and touched his face gently. “I don’t like it much either. But it’s what’s best for everyone.”

“What if something happens to you? You put Dan’s name on the birth certificate; I can’t claim any kind of parental rights.”

“If anything happens to me, Trixie has my power of attorney and she and Dan will raise Elora. You’re to be notified, and allowed to see her at any time. Dan and Trixie will tell her truth when she’s old enough to understand.”

Sam shook his head. “This sucks out loud, Honey. Completely. In every way. I can’t be with you, I can’t be with my daughter—what am I supposed to do?”

The baby squirmed in his arms and he glanced down, his anger melting as he watched her fuss. “I’m sorry pretty girl,” he murmured, “I’m just mad that I don’t get to watch you grow up.”

“Sam, I will send you pictures everyday if you want,” she said softly. “You can call and talk to her—”

“As Uncle Sam, right?” he asked bitterly, “not her Daddy.”

Honey’s eyes filled with tears and Sam felt like crying too.

“I’m sorry,” they both whispered.

Elora began to cry and Sam handed her back to Honey, who shushed her gently.

“I don’t know if that’s normal baby behavior but it looks like she’s empathic already,” he said softly.

“Sam, I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Please don’t hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Honey,” he said sadly. “But I hate the fact that once again, my family is being taken from me.”

A tear slid down her cheek. “If I could change all this I would. But it’s what’s best.”

Sam nodded. “I know.”

“Trixie and Dan will come get me this evening, when I’m released. Will you and Dean be at the apartment? Please?” she asked.

He nodded.

“I mean it, Sam. I don’t want you to run off tonight.”

“We won’t,” he assured her. “You look tired, I’m going to go.”

Honey nodded sadly.

Sam left the room, hands shoved in his pockets, staring at the ground. How could he tell her the truth? That he was going to lose Dean in a matter of months, and then he truly would be alone? If he didn’t get Dean out of that deal, he would have no one. No, he thought, if he couldn’t get Dean out of that deal, he was coming back for his daughter. He would give up Hunting forever, he thought, and help raise his daughter somehow. But he had to get Dean out of that deal. Life without his brother was unimaginable.

With his head down, Sam didn’t see the man outside the door.

Matthew Wheeler backed away from the door quickly, stunned by everything he had just heard.

***

That evening, Honey was exhausted when they reached the apartment. She had insisted everyone back off for a few days, give her a chance to rest, spend time with her baby.

She sat on the sofa as she handed the baby to Sam.

“No, Sammy, not like that,” Dean glanced over from where he was sitting on a stool at the kitchen bar. “Support the head better. No, let me show you.”

The three stared in amazement as Dean corrected his brother’s hold on Elora.

“How do you know that?” Trixie asked. Dean shrugged.

“Who do you think looked after him while Dad was out hunting? I can change a diaper in fifteen seconds. Let me tell you, Sammy couldn’t handle Spaghetti-Os when he was little,” he snickered as Sam turned red in the face.

“You fed a baby Spaghetti-Os?” Honey demanded. Dean shrugged as he sat on the sofa, beer in hand.

“Sure. Groceries were pretty limited when you’re on the move constantly.”

Trixie just shook her head as she joined Dean on the sofa. He slipped over arm around. Sam carefully sat next to Honey, holding the baby. Trixie reached for her camera.

“Smile,” she ordered.

***

Sam watched as Honey laid Elora down in her crib. He leaned against the wall, watching her watch their baby. Stepping up behind her, he slipped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head.

“Why don’t you go to bed?” he asked. “You look exhausted.”

“I am,” she admitted.

“I’ll stay with her a bit,” his quiet voice warmed her, as did his embrace.

“I just…”

“Nothing will get her while I’m here, I promise.” He kissed the top of her head.

“But what about when you leave?” she turned to wrap her arms around his waist and look up at him.

“I’ll stay, Honey, I will,” his hazel green eyes were earnest. She shook her head.

“We’ve been over that.”

“We’ll set wards before we go,” he said sadly. Honey reached up and pulled his face down to hers to kiss him gently.

“We’ll be all right, Sam. Come to bed soon okay?” she murmured.

“You want me to stay with you?” he asked, surprised. She nodded.

“We can’t be intimate, you know, sexually, but I want you near me.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

***

Sam woke first when he heard the baby fuss through the monitor. He was a light sleeper to begin with, and he moved away from where he had been wrapped around Honey’s sleeping body.

Moments later, Honey woke suddenly, unsure what had woken her. She realized she wasn’t pregnant, and that she was home. Smiling, she rolled over and inhaled the masculine scent from the pillows. Sam, she thought. The sheets smelled like Sam, strong and comfortable. She could hear murmuring, a deep voice through the baby monitor.

Then her eyes opened. Sam had been here. The baby.

Throwing the covers back she hurried towards the nursery. The light was on and she hesitated, stepping back to watch Sam with the baby. He was sitting in the rocking chair, cradling her. His six foot four frame was almost too big for the chair, but she paused, watching him smile at their daughter as she greedily sucked at the bottle. It had been his voice she heard, she realized.

“You’re a special girl, Elora,” he was murmuring. “And I don’t care if Dan raises you, you’re my little girl.”

Honey blinked back tears, stepping back so Sam wouldn’t see her.

“I may not be around all the time but I won’t let you grow up without both parents. I didn’t have a Mom, but I’ll be damned if you don’t have a father. Your real father, me. He may love you, but he can’t love you more than I do,” Sam said quietly. “I promise I’ll protect you and your Mommy. Because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her and I know I’m in love with you.”

Honey felt her heart break as she wiped the tears from her face. There was the admission she had wanted. But he wouldn’t tell her now, not since she was sending him away. And she had to send him away. She had to protect Elora. Dean understood and agreed.

“Yes, my sweet baby girl,” Sam crooned. “I’ll always protect you, no matter where I am. I’m not going to miss your birthdays, and I won’t force you to become a Hunter. You’ll know what and who we are, but I promise you, it’s your choice.”

Honey’s heart almost stopped. She hadn’t thought about Elora ever becoming a Hunter. She didn’t want her daughter in that kind of danger. But Sam was right. It had to be her choice, when she was older. And she had to know. Sam would never force it on her, the way John had.

“Don’t you worry about the things that go bump in the night,” he continued, “because your uncle Dean and me, we’re the things that bump back. We get rid of the scary things, so you’ll always be safe.”

Afraid her sob would be heard, Honey retreated to her bedroom, leaving Sam alone with their daughter.

***

The few days took adjusting, as Honey and Trixie tried to work out a schedule around the baby. Dan was constantly present, and while he and Sam and Dean were cordial with each other, neither made much effort to hide his resentment. Dean was relieved Dan would be in the baby’s life, he could see Dan cared about all three girls and would protect them against what he could.

The brothers set crystals and stones around the apartment, Sam lightly etched and painted protective symbols over doors and windows, while Dean laid the salt. Various statues of gods appeared around the apartment as well. The brothers were taking no chances.

Dan and Honey and Sam had gone to the office to discuss Elora’s upbringing, leaving the baby with Dean, while Trixie ran an errand.

She returned later, and found the apartment quiet.

“Dean?” she called softly. The TV was on but muted, and as she walked around the sofa, she stopped and smiled.

Dean was sprawled on his back on the sofa, a half empty beer bottle on the table. Lying on his chest, one tiny hand clasping the amulet he never took off was Elora, sleeping soundly, his arm around her, and a tiny blanket over her.

Trixie smiled. Dean was the sexiest man she had ever known, and seeing him lying on a sofa asleep, with a newborn baby on his chest made her heart melt. The macho, tough guy exterior hid the real Dean, which she only glimpsed now and then, and this was one of those times. The baby could have been his, he had similar coloring to Honey and Sam, and for a fleeting second, Trixie wished that the man and baby were hers. She squelched the feeling quickly. Dean Winchester wasn’t the settle down type, and he never would be. He was adamant about using condoms and being careful not to impregnate a girl. His lifestyle was on the move, he wanted no chain of children behind him. Trixie wasn’t looking to settle down either, she enjoyed her freedom.

Trixie swallowed hard. If she wanted the white picket fence and family, it wouldn’t be with Dean. He was a nomad, a Hunter, hunting down the things that gave people nightmares, things that most people wouldn’t acknowledge existed.

Which was something that had been rolling around in her head. Being a private detective was boring. She hadn’t realized it would be so boring. Security checks, spying on people, it wasn’t the hunting down of criminals she had hoped for.

But hunting down demons… now that was exciting. Dean loved the thrill, the chase, the hunt, the satisfaction of knowing he had just obliterated another creature of evil. Saving people, that was what he did. Without them ever knowing or thanking him.

It had given Trixie food for thought the last few months. And now, having Dean and Sam around for the last days, had brought it to the forefront.

Maybe it was time to explore a slightly different path in her career.

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Author’s Notes
- a big “I am freakin' velvety smooth!”, to Donna and Mary, my fabulous editors!
- A repeat of some lengthy notes here but they'll fill in some gaps on the Winchester boys!
- Season 2, All Hell Breaks Loose parts 1 & 2, Sam was murdered by another ‘psychic kid’ that Azazeal was using to open a gate to Hell (built by Samuel Colt to trap demons and protected by a private railroad- iron bars that demons can’t cross.) Dean made a deal with a Crossroads Demon to bring Sam back to life, in exchange for Dean’s soul. Instead of the standard ten years though, Dean was given one year before his soul would be claimed and he’d go to Hell. Which he did.
- Season 3, episode 3, The Kids Are Alright, Dean encounters a fling from 8 years prior, and her son is a mini-Dean. Lisa insists the boy is not Dean’s but he never quite believes her. In episode 8, Dream a Little Dream, Dean’s dream is revealed to have Lisa and Ben as his family.
- Season 4, episode 3, Back to the Beginning, Dean is given a chance to go back in time, and discovers his mother was a Hunter, unbeknownst to his father. John was killed and Mary made a deal with Azazeal, the yellow eyed demon. In return for John coming back to life, Mary would give Azazeal ‘something’ ten years later, when he returned. “Something” turned out to be Sam. Mary died trying to protect Sam (pilot episode). Azazeal fled, and after Mary’s death, John began to realize there were darker things in the world. He never knew Mary was a Hunter when he met her.
- Word Count, 2,702

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