Chapter Eighty Six
Aralyn looked up from the sofa, where she was curled up in her PJs, morosely eating from a large bowl of popcorn and a large bag of plain M&Ms. Tiffany had come down the stairs and flopped on the sofa next to her.
“I thought you and Emme were going out.”
“She said she’s not feeling well,” Tiffany stared at the TV.
Aralyn raised one eyebrow. “She seemed fine the other day at the big Fourth of July party. She was shoving her tongue down your throat pretty good,” she said dryly.
Tiffany blushed at the memory of the party and the fun she and Emme had had afterwards. “I guess she picked up a bug somewhere.”
“Make sure you don’t catch it.” Aralyn studied her cousin. “You okay?” she asked. Something wasn’t right with Tiffany.
Tiffany played with the ends of her hair, indicating she really wasn’t.
“I don’t know. She seems distant lately.”
“Distant how?” Aralyn sat up, pausing the movie she was watching.
Tiffany shrugged and reached for some of the popcorn. “I don’t know…she used to text back immediately, but now it’s a long time in between…I thought she had a study group last week but it turns out she went to a club with some friends. One of them posted it on Facebook and tagged her. It showed up in my feed, but then disappeared.”
“Did she lie to you?” Aralyn asked in a warning voice.
“I don’t know, really. She texted at one point to say her study group had been a bust and she was out with friends but it felt…off.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Aralyn knew she didn’t sound convincing. She was too suspicious by nature.
“We’ve together a couple of months, maybe the shine has worn off,” Tiffany sighed.
“She could be legitimately not feeling well,” Aralyn offered, but the nagging voice inside her head piped up.
Tiffany shrugged. “Mind if I join you?”
“Must wear PJs,” Aralyn chuckled, holding out the popcorn bowl.
***
Jim stared idly out the window, watching the activity on the grounds. Several of the boys were clearing the trails in the Preserve, following a recent storm that brought down some older, weaker trees. The wood be dragged to the school to dry out, and then used for campfires the rest of the summer. The big Fourth of July celebration had been last week, and the boys had worked extra hard to reduce fire risk during the dry summer.
He saw Adam directing the younger boys and smiled. Adam and Rodney would be starting college classes in a few months with the new school term. They had both passed their final exams with top marks, and Jim was proud of both. He hated seeing them leave, but they would both be eighteen within a couple of weeks. He always kept an open policy with his boys. Once they graduated and went off on their own, they would always have a place at the school, and Jim did his best to keep in touch with his former students. He never wanted them to feel abandoned; to know that they always had somewhere to go, and a glowing reference for a job.
Today was Wednesday, which meant Harrison would pick up the children, and take them to their counseling sessions. Regan saw a different counselor than the other two, but the appointments were scheduled together. Byron still wasn’t talking, to Jim’s frustration. Val was always quiet afterwards, and Jim had realized quickly she was mulling over the conversation. But Byron was simply sullen and withdrawn. Sometimes, he was so much like Hallie it made Jim hurt. The boy had her dark hair and eyes, and sulky temperament when he didn’t want to do something.
His lawyers were handling the divorce, but the reports he was getting were that yet again, Hallie had been caught several times sneaking alcohol in via staff members. The staff members involved had been fired which only made Hallie’s attitude and demeanor worse. Jim had been warned if Hallie was caught doing so again, she would have to leave; she was on her final chance. The back-up rehab centers were in place. This one was supposedly the best in the state, but if staff members could be easily bribed…and that made Jim’s mind go to a dark place. What was Hallie using to bribe them? She had no access to cash. Anything she needed or wanted was provided, minus alcohol.
“Jim?”
He turned to see Bernie in the doorway and smiled at her. The winter sweaters had disappeared and she wore fitted, simple blouses with her slacks or skirts. He didn’t let himself think about her lovely figure. That ship had clearly long sailed; she and his best friend were getting serious, and nothing would make Jim disrupt that. A recent conversation with the notoriously private Brian, who was thinking of asking her to move in, had Jim thinking there may be wedding bells in his best friend’s future at long last.
“Need something?”
“The rehab clinic is on the phone, they said they couldn’t reach you on your cell and it’s urgent.”
Jim swore internally. Had Hallie been caught drunk again? “Thanks, Bern, I’ll grab it.”
He realized his cell had been sitting on his desk buzzing, but he hadn’t heard it. He had several messages, but he reached for his desk phone.
“Jim Frayne.”
“Mr. Frayne, this Rose Crognale, the administrator at White Plains Rehabilitation.”
“Good afternoon, Ms. Crognale, what can I do for you? What has she done now?”
“Mr. Frayne…I’m sorry to tell you this but your wife passed away this afternoon.”
***
Jim stared at the body lying on the slab. Brian, Trixie and Mart were with him, and they were all silent as they stared at their cousin’s body.
“It’s her,” Brian confirmed to the coroner.
Jim hadn’t spoken since he had called Brian in a panic.
The coroner nodded soberly and pulled the sheet back over her face. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”
The four shuffled out, Brian’s arm around his kid sister. They stood in the hallway, silent for a long moment.
“I can’t believe she’s gone,” Trixie blurted out.
Jim nodded. “I…me either, Trix. I knew she was getting alcohol in but they insisted they had fired all of the staff who was involved. Clearly, they didn’t, and I have no idea how she got her hands on the pills. I guess the same person.”
“I know she was miserable,” Mart said evenly, “but drinking herself to death, and taking pills…it just doesn’t seem like Hallie.”
Jim shook his head. “You haven’t seen her lately, Mart. She’s refused to see the kids for months, or even talk to them. Every time I’ve been there, and especially the last couple, she was just spitting venom. Her lawyers were trying to get more money and mine shut them down. But she never asked for the kids, not once, or even about their welfare. It was always about the money, and sometimes a threat she’d find a way to take them from me.” Jim stared at the floor. “I should have realized she was really spiraling. Even Riker gave up on her, months ago. I don’t know what the final straw was, but I’m sure our last argument didn’t help.”
“Jim, you couldn’t have known unless you were here every day,” Brian said sternly. “Don’t blame yourself this. Hallie was never happy, ever. She was always angry, she always had something to be negative about. She didn’t go to rehab willingly; she was put here because she was a danger to her children. She made it clear they weren’t a priority in any way to her and she did nothing to get out of here. Hallie loved being miserable,” Brian said matter of factly, “and that’s the truth of it.”
Trixie nodded and wiped her eyes. “I know you’re right, Bri, but…I can’t imagine not wanting to see your children and doing everything in your power to have that ability.”
“Because you’re a caring human being, Trix,” Brian ran his hand through his hand. “When was the last time you genuinely saw Hallie happy?”
His siblings shook their heads.
“I have to tell the kids,” Jim said, his face ashen. “I have to tell the kids their mother is dead.”
“Why don’t I go with you?” Brian asked. “I already called Dad to let him know, and he said he’d call Uncle Harold.”
Jim nodded. He and his in-laws had never had a warm relationship, while Moms and Peter Belden were like second parents to him. Jim had called Brian first about Hallie, not knowing who else to call. “I guess I need to make some arrangements,” Jim said hollowly.
“Let us take care of that,” Mart said quietly. “You focus on the kids; we’ll handle the details.”
Jim thanked his friends, his mind still trying to grasp the situation. He had wanted Hallie gone, away from him and his children, out of their lives. But not like this. He had wanted her to clean up, dry out and someday make amends with their children. Now they would never have that chance.
***
Brian was grateful to see his parents were already at Ten Acres when he and Jim arrived. Jim was still in shock, Brian could tell, and he needed to keep it together for his best friend and Jim’s children. Regan might not understand the concept of death, but Val and Byron were old enough to.
He immediately knew his mother had been crying. Helen Belden kept a forced smile on, but her eyes were sad, and red. His father was there as well, and Peter hugged both Jim and Brian. Regan sat on Helen’s lap.
Byron stood by the fireplace, staring at it. Val sat in her favorite chair; her dark eyes worried. Jim knew Harrison was nearby, but respecting their privacy.
“Thanks for being here,” Jim said quietly to Peter. He knew the Beldens considered his children to be their own grandchildren, and he was forever grateful for their help.
“Anytime, son.” Peter replied gently.
“What’s going on?” Byron demanded.
Jim didn’t admonish the boy. A family meeting in the middle of the week was unheard of, and to have the Beldens there amplified the seriousness of it.
“Have a seat, Byron,” Jim said quietly.
Brian stood next to Val; Peter sat with Helen on the sofa.
But the teenager didn’t, his dark eyes staring at his father.
“It’s Mom, isn’t it?” Val asked softly, her hands clasped together in her lap.
Jim took a deep breath. “Yes. There’s been an accident.”
Regan looked up; his green eyes concerned. “Is Mommy okay?” he asked, his lower lip trembling.
“No, sport, I’m afraid not. Your mother got really sick, and she’s no longer with us,” Jim said quietly.
Regan tried to understand the words as tears filled Val’s eyes. Brian reached out and put his hand on his young cousin’s shoulder.
“She’s dead?” Byron demanded. “You’re telling me my mother is dead?”
Jim nodded. “Yes. She passed away this afternoon.”
Byron stared at Jim as his sister began to cry.
Brian knelt next to Val and put his arm around her.
“I don’t believe you,” Byron said flatly.
“I wouldn’t lie to you, Byron, especially not about this.”
“Yes, you are!” Byron shouted suddenly. “We know she doesn’t want us, you can tell us the truth, she ran away, didn’t she? She went off with Uncle Ben and left us behind!”
Jim wished that was true. If that were the case, then Hallie could someday rectify her mistakes with their children.
“No, Byron,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, son, but she’s no longer on this earth.”
Regan looked to his grandmother, then his father. “I don’t understand.”
“She’s dead, you idiot!” Byron yelled. “She’s gone away and she’s never coming back because she doesn’t love us and she never did!”
The emerald green eyes filled with tears and Helen cuddled the small boy to her, trying to soothe him.
“Byron, that’s enough!” Jim said sternly. “Your mother did love you, she just had trouble showing it.”
“No, she didn’t. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been screwing Uncle Ben and drunk all the time!”
Jim blanched. How did Byron know about Ben? His son was more observant than he had realized.
“Byron—”
“She was a crappy mother and I hate her!” the teenager yelled, bolting from the room and racing upstairs.
Jim looked at Helen, uncertain of what to do.
“He’s angry,” she said softly. “Let him process for a little bit.”
Jim nodded, turning his attention to his younger children. Brian had lifted Val into his lap as he sat in the chair, holding the crying girl, and stroking her hair. Regan looked confused as Helen gently tried to explain that he couldn’t see his mother any more. Peter watched his family with sad eyes.
Jim sat in the chair opposite Val. “Val, Regan, listen to me,” he said gently. Both of his children gave him their attention. Brian used a tissue to wipe Val’s dark eyes.
“Your mother loved you. You have to know that. She just had trouble showing it. But she did love you, and she was having a really hard time with things, and she was sick. Do you remember your fish, last summer? The one you found floating?” Regan nodded. “You remember how we talked about death, and how the spirit was no longer in the fish, it was just a vessel?”
“We flushed it down the toilet.”
“Yes. Your mom…her spirit is gone. Her spirit was sick, and her body couldn’t handle it anymore.”
“She was sick from the bottles she was always hiding.” Regan said.
Jim winced internally. “Yes. And she won’t be back, and I’m sorry, I wish I could I could bring her home for you, son, but you have to know she loved you. That’s the most important part.”
“She’s too big to be flushed down the toilet.”
Jim didn’t know how to answer that. Brian stepped in.
“People don’t get flushed, Regan,” he said gently. “We bury them in the ground.”
Regan’s big green eyes stared at his father and he nodded slowly.
“She loved you, Regan. She loved all of you.” Jim couldn’t bear the thought of his children thinking Hallie didn’t love them. While he had often wondered if she did, they needed to believe she did.
***
Bernie curled up against Brian on her sofa. “Penny for your thoughts?” she finally asked softly, resting her head on his arm.
He had come to her apartment after leaving Ten Acres. Her eyes had widened when she saw him at the door, looking drained, pale and stunned. He had held her for a long time, and they didn’t speak, before she led him to the sofa and brought him a large scotch, neat. They had sat in silence for a long time, Bernie snuggled against him, Brian holding her tight.
“I don’t know,” he sighed. “I probably got along the best with her but even on a good day, she was caustic and acerbic. She was never the nurturing type; she was always combative. We were all shocked she had Byron, then the other kids. She and my sister had been at each other’s throats most of their lives, though there was a truce here and there. Hallie was never easy to be around.”
Brian shifted his legs, and Bernie laid her head against his chest. She had never pried with Jim or Brian about Hallie. Bernie knew vague details about Hallie and Jim’s marriage of course, and the children’s situation, but it wasn’t something Jim talked about willingly.
“She never loved Jim, and we all knew it,” he said softly. “Including Jim. They got together because Jim found out Trixie was marrying Bo, Hallie just happened to be there. Wrong place, right time. They were sort of high school sweethearts, Jim and Trix, and he kept hoping they’d eventually get back together, but of course, they never did. Hallie had some twisted notion that marrying Jim would hurt Trixie, but Trix was so in love with Bo, it never mattered. And somehow, Jim and Hallie stayed together, for the kids, I guess.”
“Why did Jim stay in the first place?” Bernie asked softly. “Before Byron?”
“He wasn’t planning to; he was going to break up with her. They had been off and on for several years, when she got pregnant with Byron by accident. Jim did what he felt was the honorable thing and married her. He had always been desperate for a family of his own—remember he lost both parents young. I think he saw this as his chance to have the family he had always wanted and worried he wouldn’t get. It was all downhill from there. Their kids are younger than the rest of their cousins, so they didn’t really get to grow up with everyone. Hallie seemed to blame Trixie for her misery, because Jim never really got her over her, well, he did eventually but it took years before he and Bo could even be in the same room without trading insults and dirty looks.”
Bernie had never heard the full story before, and listened quietly, her arm around his waist as she snuggled against him. She knew Bo and Jim were friendly now, and the men in the family occasionally went fishing together.
“Hallie got involved with Jim to spite Trix, never fully accepting that Trixie had moved on from Jim years before, and was happy with Bo. And Hallie was always in love with Dan to some degree.”
“Mangan? Daisy’s husband?” Bernie was startled. She had only met the gorgeous Deputy Marshal a couple of times, but his devotion to Daisy was obvious.
Brian nodded. “Yeah. She never forgave him for marrying Daisy instead of her, and she was nasty to both of them when she felt like it. Dan told me once she showed up at the house when Daisy was out of town for a fashion show, and came onto him.”
“She didn’t!”
Brian nodded. “He never told Daisy, so please don’t mention it. But she showed up in a fur coat and nothing else, like some cheesy movie scene, totally drunk, and tried to seduce Dan.”
“He didn’t fall for it.”
Brian snorted. “Not in a million years. When he turned her down, gently, mind you, Dan is unfailingly polite when dealing with women, she flew into a rage and left. Dan was fond of her when we were younger, and they might have worked it out but Dan fell for Daisy the moment he laid eyes on her. If he was going to marry anyone, it was going to be her. Hallie never forgave him.”
“She sounds like an incredibly angry, bitter woman. I only had the one direct incident with her but even when she called the school, she always sounded so angry.”
“She was.” Brian kissed the top of her head, hugging Bernie tightly. “I think she did care for Jim at some point, especially once she was pregnant, being hopeful for a family life and all that, but she was convinced that Jim still loved Trixie and she wasn’t good enough. I think that ate at her all these years, and Jim was so miserable, he threw himself into work at the school. Hallie did her best after that to turn the kids against him, convincing them he didn’t love them.”
“That’s terrible!” Bernie exclaimed. “Who does that?”
“Jealous, bitter women,” Brian sighed. “Val and Regan never bought into it but Byron…I’m pretty sure he semi-believed it, and I think that’s why he’s so angry. He’s conflicted, and he doesn’t know what to believe. He wants to believe his father loves him but his mother conditioned him to think otherwise. Throw in raging hormones from puberty and he’s just a mess.”
“That’s really sad,” Bernie murmured. “He’s really a sweet kid, when you get past the tough kid act. She’s a—was a terrible woman.”
Brian nodded, taking a sip of the scotch she had brought him. “That was Hallie in a nutshell. Angry, sad, bitter, hateful. The marriage deteriorated quickly. Jim had affairs, I’d bet she had a couple, even before Riker last year. It was a match made in Hell from the start.”
“What’s Jim going to do?” Bernie asked.
“Focus on the kids. He’ll probably take some time off from the school.”
“Of course. I can manage without him for a while.”
“I know.” Brian smiled at her and kissed her lips gently. “He really relies on you. You’re amazing,” he kissed her again.
“So are you, Doc,” she murmured, reaching up to caress his jaw.
Brian held her close, feeling better from being in close proximity to her. She hadn’t pressed him for details when he first arrived, she had just held him. These last six months with her…Brian could scarcely remember what his life had been like without her. And he liked the way she had always called “Doc”.
“Thank you for being here,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers. “We weren’t close, at all…but it’s still hard to believe she’s gone.”
“I know,” Bernie said softly. “I’m glad to be here with you. I don’t think any of you should be alone tonight.”
Brian kissed her softly, his dark eyes staring into hers. “I love you,” he said softly.
Her intake of breath was sharp as her eyes lit up at the words, uttered for the first time. “I love you too,” she whispered, kissing him.
***
Jim knocked on Byron’s door. It was locked again.
“Byron?” he called.
“Leave me alone!’ came the angry reply.
The boy hadn’t come out of his room since yesterday, after storming out of the living room. Jim had multiple degrees in psychology but he felt helpless to help his son.
Helen had stayed over to help with Val and Regan. Jim had called his parents of course, they were flying in from Japan, where Matthew had been closing a big corporate deal.
Jim had drifted around the house all night, unable to sleep, thinking back on the last fifteen years. The arguments and threats dominated his memories, and he tried to remember the good times, before she had gotten pregnant, but it was hard to. He had desperately wanted a happy family, having been denied it when his own father died young, then his mother. Life with Jonesy had been a nightmare, it wasn’t until the Wheelers adopted him that he gained any happiness. He had wanted the Belden life, full of love and laughter, not the loveless, sexless marriage he had ended up with. He had lost the most important first years with his children because of Hallie’s bitterness, and it was impossible to not resent her for that, deliberately keeping him at arm’s length from them while he built the school into a successful business. Jim also knew he should have pressed harder, ignored Hallie’s nastiness and been there for his children.
Did he regret his affairs? Of course. He had regretted them while they were happening. But for a very brief time, he had indulged in the fantasy that he could be happy with someone else.
How did Byron know Hallie had been screwing Riker? While Jim had grown closer to his daughter and younger son this past year, his oldest was still a sullen, scowling mystery. Dan had told Jim that Byron would come around if Jim were consistent in his attention. Jim had to prove himself to Byron, the way his uncle Bill Regan and Mr. Maypenny had done for him, when he first arrived in Sleepyside with a massive chip on his shoulder.
It wasn’t easy. It was clear Byron held a grudge against him, and Jim had patiently been chipping away at it. Byron not only looked like Hallie, but had her sharp tongue and temper. Jim was determined to get through to his son.
“Byron, let me in or I’ll remove the door,” he said calmly.
There was a long silence and then the door unlocked. A scowling Byron opened the door and faced Jim. When had he gotten so tall? Jim wondered. Byron and Val were tall and slender like their mother. Regan was a little short for his age, stocky like Jim.
“What?” Byron demanded.
“I think we should talk.”
“What about?”
“What you’re feeling, Byron.”
“I don’t want to. It’s bad enough you drag me to that counselor every week!”
Jim walked into his son’s room and sat on the end of the bed. “It’s for your benefit, Byron, to give you someone neutral to talk to, particularly with the divorce going.”
“Well, that’s not an issue now, is it?” Byron snarled.
“Byron, we need to talk about your mother.”
“Why? She hated us, she hated you and she was busy screwing Uncle Ben whenever she could.”
“How did you know about that?” Jim asked.
Byron rolled his eyes. “You should have seen their text messages. It was pretty gross.”
“You snooped in your mother’s phone?” Jim was stunned.
“It wasn’t hard to figure out her passcode.” He shrugged.
Jim made a mental note to change his, just in case. “Byron, I know you’re angry at her, but—”
“Don’t ‘but’ me, Dad! She hated all of us. I know she did.”
“She had problems, Byron, but that is no reason to think she hated you!”
“She told me she did,” Byron snarled. “And her texts confirmed it.”
Jim froze, turning pale.
“What?” he whispered.
“Back when she was drinking and you were always working late. Who do you think got her upstairs into bed late at night, so she wouldn’t fall and break her neck on the stairs?”
Jim blanched. His son had been taking care of his wife when he wasn’t there.
“Who do you think sobered her up with coffee in morning? That’s when she got real ugly, Dad. I know she never wanted me; I know she thought about getting rid of me. She called her First Mistake!”
Jim wanted to vomit. He had never wanted Byron to know that. He had never wanted his children to know that Hallie thought they were mistakes.
“Her texts to Uncle Ben were gross—how she hated you, us, how she felt trapped, how she wanted to—never mind, but gross sex things she wanted to do to him! She was on a roll one night, telling me how you were still in love with Aunt Trixie and neither of you wanted me. I was an accident, so were the others!”
“Byron, that’s not true.”
“You planned me?” the teenager demanded angrily. “Really, Dad?”
“Let me tell you the real story,” Jim said quietly. “No, you weren’t planned. Yes, your mother wasn’t sure about wanting children, but I told her in no uncertain terms that I did. I threatened her if she tried to do anything to jeopardize your safety. I wanted you Byron, I always wanted you, from the moment she told me about you. And she came around, she wanted you too, and she loved you, I know she did.”
“You don’t know shit, Dad!”
Jim let the profanity slide. His son’s raw fury was drowning him. “Byron, I know your mother was an unhappy woman—”
“Is that why you screwed around on her? And with Patrick’s mom?”
Jim was speechless.
“She told Uncle Ben all about it in her texts. And that blonde secretary last year, the one that kind of looked like Aunt Trixie. She said you probably picked up an STD from one of your whores. That was the only reason you ever traveled, so you could screw other women!”
Jim rubbed his face with his hand. “I never said I was perfect, Byron. Your mother and I had a volatile relationship.”
“Why’d you stay together?” he demanded. “Why didn’t you two divorce years ago and spare us all this bullshit and her abuse? Maybe then I wouldn’t know Mom was a drunk and a slut, and you’re not much better.”
Jim gaped at his son. “Byron—”
“You wanted to talk, Dad, so here I am, talking. That’s your cue to bolt, and go bury yourself in school business, like you always do.”
“Byron, this isn’t about me and my mistakes. This is about you.”
“Just leave me alone, Dad. I don’t want to hear it.”
“We need to talk this out.”
“I said leave me alone!” Byron yelled.
Jim stared his son down but Byron didn’t flinch. Hallie’s blackberry eyes stared back, livid. Jim didn’t know what to do.
“We’ll talk later,” Jim finally said, getting up. As soon as he was out of the room, the door slammed behind him and angry rock music began to blare from the room.
Meet the cast in full & see the family tree!
***
Author’s Notes
- A huge yeee-haa to Ronda, my lovely editor who helps keep me on track, and always come through for me!
- Word Count, 5,101
|