Chapter Thirty Five
Brian Belden lay in bed, his head spinning. He couldn’t sleep but he had hoped lying down would help him process the nights’ events.
A daughter. He had a daughter, Natala. A fully-grown, lovely daughter who had had a horrible life, evidenced by the tormented eyes. The thought of the things she must have endured and experienced made him ill.
Memories had been crowding in his head all evening since her bombshell announcement. He tried to calm his brain, and sort through them one at a time, memories from over twenty years ago...
***
Brian wandered the crowded street. He finally had a day off, and now that never ending, brain-numbing days were on hold, his head was crammed with non-medical thoughts.
Honey’s going to marry Luke, he thought despondently. You shouldn’t be surprised. You knew she cared for him. Now she works with him, lives five minutes away. You let her go, years ago. You have no right to complain.
But it still hurt. He’d never forget the day he met her, when she dashed over the hill, saw him and Mart, and almost tripped trying to slow herself down. She was only thirteen, but the morning sun had cast a golden glow off her honey colored hair and lit her up like an angel. He couldn’t help but note her graceful, slender figure, just beginning to blossom. It would be two years before he worked up the nerve to ask her out, and they struggled as he made his way through college. Finally he had admitted he couldn’t handle a relationship and school too.
Then she and Trixie and Di had gone to Atlanta on that fateful trip, and met Bo, Luke and Daisy Duke. Brian had wanted to dislike Luke Duke when the Duke cousins visited Sleepyside, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t in his nature and Luke was a nice guy. Not nearly as impulsive as the blond cousin that Trixie was in love with. Luke was very protective, and Brian knew the former Marine would be good to Honey. Brian wondered how Matt Wheeler would take the news of his heiress daughter marrying a poor farm boy and former Marine. No doubt Matthew would insist upon a prenuptial agreement.
Loud music reached his ears and he glanced up. He was approaching a bar he realized, but the tantalizing smells of food reached out to him. His stomach growled, and he wondered when he had eaten last. He hadn’t thought of food, or Honey’s engagement all day, he had been too busy in the ER.
The music was lively as he approached, and he realized it was a pub. Pushing open the dingy door, he stepped inside.
He blinked a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the dimness. Lights were cast on a small stage, where four men sat playing a lively tune. Three young women danced in the aisles between tables, dresses in bright colors and long skirts. Between the music and the costumes and décor, Brian figured it to be a Gypsy themed pub.
He hesitated at the door, wondering if he should seat himself. One of the dancers, a tall, slender young woman with long, black hair spun towards him and took his hand, leading him to a table. He smiled shyly at her as her electric blue eyes twinkled at him. She set a menu in front of him and twirled off.
Brian’s dark eyes followed her dancing; she had good rhythm and swayed seductively. There were only a few other occupants in the place.
Glancing over the menu he finally decided on some bratwurst. He wasn’t sure what some of the other stuff was.
Reappearing, she dropped into the seat opposite him, setting a beer on the table for him. She had an ethereal beauty to her, he thought, pale skin, heart shaped face, luminous eyes highlighted with dark eyeliner, pretty rosebud mouth and a blinding smile.
“You know what you want?” she smiled.
Brian managed to find the words as he stared into her eyes.
“Never been here, have you?” she had an accent, he could barely hear it over the music.
“No, I was just walking and heard the music,” he answered.
She pushed the beer towards him.
“Thought so. Bet you like that," she nodded to the drink.
Brian almost said he wasn’t a drinker, but then decided what the hell, and took a sip. To his surprise, the liquid warmed quickly and was nice and smooth.
“Thank you,” he smiled up at her, noting the colored beads she wore around her slender neck and wrists.
Her blouse was turquoise blue, snug and low cut. He had a good view of cleavage when she leaned forward and politely looked away. Her skirt was red, and she wore a wide purple sash with silver bells sewn on. He tried not to watch her as she walked, no, sauntered away to place his order.
Sipping his beer, he exhaled. Now that he was somewhere, sitting down, his brain turned back to Honey.
Let go, the voice said. You let her go years ago. What about all those nice women you’ve dated the last couple years? Nice, but not what you want. Not Honey.
He shook his head to clear it, his dark eyes focusing on the colorful murals of the walls.
“You look a bitt sad.”
He turned his head back to realize she had returned and was sitting opposite him again. He couldn’t place her accent, but he guessed she was Gypsy, maybe from Hungary or Russia. She said “bit” as “beet”.
“I’m just tired,” he answered.
Her blues eyes shone at him.
“I know a broken heart when I see one,” she smiled. Reaching her hand out, she laid it on his. Puzzled he watched her as she closed her eyes for a minute, then opened them. “Don’t be so despairing. You’ll find love again, and soon.”
Brian chuckled. “Thanks, but I’m not looking for love.”
“That’s when it always happens,” she grinned, rising from her place. She sashayed off to another table to pick up an empty plate from an elderly man who had finished eating.
Brian just chuckled to himself. She must be playing the role of a fortune teller, he thought, noting his glass was almost empty. Funny, he thought, I don’t really remember drinking it.
When he set it down empty she was there with another, and sat down again. The musicians ended their set and were taking a break. Somewhere a soft tape began playing to keep it from being silent.
“It’s an old hurt, yes?” she asked. “But recently stirred up.”
Brian paused as he was about to drink from the fresh beer she had brought. “How did you know that?” he asked.
She smiled, a dimple in her right cheek. “I’m good at seeing things in people.”
Brian forced a smile.
“Now you’re withdrawing. I can practically see the wall going up,” she said softly. Before he could stop her, she took his hand turned it over. He watched her slender fingers run over his palm, and a strange shock flit through him.
“You’re tired of being responsible,” she said. “And you have hurt from a long time ago love that you can’t let go. You won’t commit yourself to a woman because of her,” her blue eyes looked up at him and were filled with sadness. “You shouldn’t carry such pain, it’s bad for your soul.”
“My soul is fine,” he said firmly, trying to pull his hand away but she wouldn’t let him.
“You must let go or you’ll never be happy,” she said quietly. “Your heart isn’t closed off yet, but it will be.”
Brian took a sip of his beer as she got up and left again. She was right and they both knew it.
She returned with his plate, and set it front of him, taking her seat again.
“You close yourself off to everything but your work, it’s not healthy. You should try to have fun more,” she smiled at him and Brian found he was having trouble thinking coherently. The music started up again and she was off and dancing.
***
Brian groaned as he moved his body slowly. His head swam and screamed when he moved. Opening his eyes, he recognized his bed, and wondered how he had managed to get home.
Managing to push himself up to look around, his heart began to race when he realized he had no memory after the pub. He knew he ate, he danced with the pretty Gypsy girl. What was her name? Tanya? Tory?
His door opened and she poked her head in. “Good morning, princess.”
Brian sat up quickly and regretted it immediately. “What are you doing here?” he asked, trying to make his mouth cooperate. He was fully dressed, he noted.
“Making sure you didn’t throw up in your sleep and choke on your own vomit,” she walked in, still in her clothes from last night.
“How’d you know I lived here?”
“Your driver’s license. “ She winked as she sat on the bed next to him.
Brian just stared at her, dumbfounded.
“I shouldn’t have let you drink so much,” she gave him a gentle smile. “That beer can pack a heavy punch. You spent a good hour over the toilet, before I got you in here and you passed out.”
“I don’t remember,” he muttered.
“I figured you wouldn’t, that’s why I stayed. Are you hungry at all?”
“No,” he said quickly. “But I would like to shower.”
She smiled. “I’ll be on my way then.” She rose and then looked back at him. “I hope you come back to the pub sometime.”
Brian nodded as she left, and he lay back down for a moment. He had let her bring him home?
And so it had begun. He stopped in at the pub when he could, which quickly became almost everyday. Her name was Talaitha and she was part of the Gypsy family that ran the pub.
She was always there, in a pretty colored outfit, dark hair sometimes down and flowing, sometimes pulled back. Always with the big hoop earrings and bangle bracelets and a ready smile. He came to know her family, who ran the pub, her brothers who were the band, her cousins who were the other dancers. Her parents ran the place, which was often busy but he was always greeted warmly, though her father and brothers always kept one suspicious eye on him.
Most of the Gypsy family usually traveled with a small carnival, but it was winter and they decided they were enjoying running the pub and taking the gaje – non-Gypsy’s money. But Brian could see they were restless too. They had taken over the pub from an old Irishman who moved to the south.
He stayed late one night as she closed the dining room, wiping down the tables.
Standing over him, she gave him a bright smile. “You don’t have to go home Brian, but you can’t stay here.”
Brian smiled at his pretty Gypst girl. “I know. I’ve just been wanting a moment alone with you.”
She dropped into the chair across from him. “Well, now we’re alone.”
“Would you have dinner with me sometime?” he asked hesitantly. Her eyes twinkled.
“It’s taken you a month to ask me out?”
Brian ducked his head with a smile. “Yeah, I’m a bit slow on the uptake.”
“Well, you’re in luck,” she laughed. “I happen to be in the mood to say yes. Tell you what, give me ten more minutes and we can go walk a bit. My father won’t be very happy about it so go on and leave, I’ll meet you at the corner.”
Exactly ten minutes later, she met him at the corner, wrapped in a heavy dark shawl.
“Will that be warm enough?” he asked. She nodded with a smile.
After dinner, they had walked for an hour; he started when she slipped her hand into his. She asked him about his family, and he ended up telling her about his siblings and the BWGS.
They ended up at his apartment. He pulled her close to kiss her, which led to another kiss, and another, until they ended up in his bed naked and sweaty, wrapped in each other’s arms as they made love repeatedly.
He had made her breakfast the next morning, liking the way she looked in his shirt. They made love again in the shower, and he dropped her off at the pub on his way to the hospital for work.
She had shown up there hysterical two hours later with a black eye. Her brothers were furious that she had spent the night with Brian, and there had been a huge fight. Her brothers had wanted to kill Brian, or at the least, force him to marry her, today. She had refused to allow either to happen, and they disowned her, after one brother struck her, calling her a slut.
Not knowing where else to go, she had run to Brian. He left the hospital immediately, taking her home.
Her family wouldn’t speak to her, or return her calls. She did light housekeeping for others in the building, and eventually took a job waitressing at a nearby diner once she decided she was safe from her brothers, but the light in her bright eyes dimmed.
It didn’t take long before Brian knew he was in love with her. Their nights were spent cozied together on the sofa, his days off they strolled in the park. Brian took her to meet Jim for lunch, and she said she could see the tight bond between them, but Jim radiated pain.
Sometimes she amused him with her fortune telling, or she would suddenly inform him of some random piece of information about his family. She knew his father had been promoted before Peter called that night. Bobby had managed something extraordinary, she told Brian one night. That night, Bobby called to announce he would be graduating college with honors. She warned Brian that Jim was headed for more heartbreak by hooking up with a dark haired woman who shred his kind soul with her hatred and bitterness. She had seen the relationship with Hallie coming months before it did.
But every time he went home to Sleepyside for a weekend, she refused to go. She wasn’t ready to meet them, she kept telling him.
Eventually Brian found himself looking at diamond rings, wondering what would look right on her finger. The day Jim and he went to purchase one, he came home and a shiver went up his spine.
The apartment was cold. Not temperature wise, but he suddenly felt cold. It was too quiet. Empty.
“Tala? Where are you?” he called.
He and Jim exchanged a worried glance. Jim knew something was wrong.
“Tala?” he tried again. He crossed to the bedroom quickly and opened the door. The bed was made, as usual.
Jim hurried to the closet and opened it. Only Brian’s clothes remained. Jim turned back to his friend, who had gone ashen.
“She’s gone, Bri,” Jim said quietly. “I’m so sorry.”
“We can find her.”
Jim shook his head. “I think she’s been gone for hours.”
Brian shook his head. “But why? Why would she leave? We’re happy! Where would she have gone?”
“Her family?” Jim asked.
“They disowned her,” he said quietly. “That’s pretty final in their culture.”
“Maybe she left a note,” Jim suggested.
They searched, but there wasn’t one. Brian did discover his emergency cash supply was gone.
They went to the family pub, which was closed. No one answered the door when Brian pounded on it. They stayed all night but no one came to open it. Days later, an Italian family appeared and opened a new restaurant.
Brian and Jim had to face the possibility her family had come and taken her by force.
Brian reported her missing to the NYPD but they weren’t concerned about a Gypsy girl he had taken up with. She went on a missing persons list but he was flat out told by the police that most likely, it wasn’t her real name, and Gypsies came and went through the city pretty quickly.
Without telling Brian, Jim dropped a pile of money trying to find her for the next year. His friend was devastated, and Jim wouldn’t let him lose his dream because of heartbreak. But her family had disappeared and simply vanished.
Finally, he had had to accept that she wasn’t coming back.
The apartment was so cold and empty without her. Brian’s mood plummeted.
Brian went to work, treated patients but didn’t really remember them afterwards. He coasted through his days, politely talking with coworkers, dodging date requests, and spending most of his free time laying on his bed. He’d see a girl with long dark hair and run after down the street. He’d hear a girlish laugh and look around wildly. Music of a similar beat caught his attention and he’d strain to see if there was a glimpse of her.
Eventually, he became cognizant of his surroundings again, and moved on with his life. He found a new apartment, but every time he passed a tall woman with black hair, he turned to look. It was years before he stopped doing that.
***
Now he knew why she had left. The girl sleeping upstairs was the reason. And according to Natala’s birth certificate, Hearne hadn’t been her last name at all. It was Stojka.
Why had Talaitha run? He wanted to know. He had planned to marry her and had made it clear to her that’s what he wanted. Had she foreseen something awful if they got married? Or had she been ashamed? How did the family tie in? They were all gone too. Why had they taken her? Had they been watching all those months, and decided to take her back, despite the disgrace of her living with a non-Gypsy?
The hurt turned to anger, then depression, then acceptance. He hadn’t dated much after that, and he made damn sure no woman got to close to him again. He attended Honey’s wedding without Talaitha at his side as planned, then Trixie’s, then Dan’s. Eventually they all moved back, to White Plains, children and families in tow.
Meanwhile, his daughter had been growing up without him. Scraping by, raised without basic education, doing God knows what for survival while he had been here in this house, this empty, big house, while his nieces and nephews grew up around him. He was a favored uncle, but it wasn’t the same.
Jim had been his only support system in those early months, though Jim had his own demon to face when Trixie announce her engagement. Jim had taken up with Brian’s cousin Hallie, and while Brian questioned it, Jim liked her. That had certainly become a disastrous relationship, just as Talaitha had told him. Jim hadn’t told Brian about it until it was too late for Brian to talk Jim out of ending things with Hallie. Jim had grown to really care for Hallie Belden.
Brian had given up on ever finding someone to marry. Honey was ecstatic with Luke, Talaitha was gone. Everyone around him was happily married, except Jim, and Brian would gladly chose his solitary loneliness over Jim’s misery. Brian had been Jim’s support system all these years, as Jim dealt with the wild and perpetually angry Hallie.
But now thing were different. Now Brian had a daughter. A beautiful, tall, shy girl with her mothers eyes and his hair. His heart ached at the thought of all the years he missed out on. He had watched the men in his family with their kids, particularly Bo with Aralyn, jealous of their bond.
His daughter was here, a grown up. Personality already formed. Habits already established. No fatherly influence needed.
Except she was lost, and alone, and looking to find herself. She needed him.
And he needed her.
Meet the cast in full & see the family tree!
Author’s Notes
- A huge yee-haa to the fabulous and lovely Ronda, for editing this and her suggestions which made it much better!
- Brian finally got a chance to tell him story...see, he really isn't boring! And yes, we are inching closer to Jim and Hallie's story. But only inching.
- Word Count, 3,328
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