Chapter Forty Seven
Dean Acklen shut the door and called out to his roommate.
“In the kitchen!” Cam Kent called back.
“Dude, check it out. Guess who’s back in town.”
“Not a clue man,” Cam slid the chicken into the oven.
“How about the love of your life?”
“What?” Cam looked up from the oven. “Aralyn? She’s back already?”
“Saw her myself. That mess in Texas really messed with her, Cam. She’s super twitchy.”
Cam didn’t answer, just staring at his roommate as he was spun back in time. That very day she had come bouncing into the room freshman year… watching her play on the hockey field, tutoring her, escorting her to the Homecoming dance, their first kiss, the first time they made love…
She was back. Aralyn was back in town.
“Think it’s for good?” he asked, trying not to appear as shaken as he was. They weren’t due back for three more months. But the incident out West had national headlines, of course they’d bring the girls home.
“I don’t know. Natala sure seemed to think so. She was happier than I’ve ever seen her, to have them back.”
Cam leaned against the counter.
“You gonna call her?” Dean asked. His aqua eyes were concerned. Cam had gone dead white and Dean knew he was thinking about Aralyn and their past. Dean couldn’t stand Cam’s current girlfriend, she was a snotty and manipulative bitch. Dean knew she was a rebound for Cam, someone to keep him from dying of loneliness. She was tall and blonde but she was no Aralyn.
Cam hesitated. “I don’t know. This is twice she’s gotten back into town and not called me. I don’t think she’s wanting to pick up where we left off.”
“So be friends with her,” Dean shrugged. “You two were friends before you started going out, even if there was a bit of an ulterior motive there to get her to go out with you,” he chuckled.
“True. I have a girlfriend though, Dean. I don’t think she’d like it.”
“Screw her! Never mind, you already are. Ditch The Bitch. You wooed Aralyn once, you can do it again.”
Cam rolled his eyes.
“Man, this could be your golden opportunity. Not only am I dating her cousin, but she’s back in town. The universe is giving you an opportunity, Cam, don’t pass it up.”
***
A few nights later, Cam couldn’t concentrate on his homework. Finally he pulled on his sneakers and a lightweight jacket.
Just call her, the little voice said. She’ll be needing her friends.
But I can’t stop at friends. I want so much more than that, said the other voice.
You’re with her now.
She’s a time filler.
Not very honorable of you.
I never said I was honorable. She pursued me. Big time. I was honest from the start and told her I didn’t think I could be the boyfriend she wanted. She thinks she can change that.
She knows, you know. She knows you still love Aralyn, and that she’s back in town.
I haven’t called Aralyn.
But you will. And she knows it. You may have to choose.
There is no choice, and she knows that.
This conversation and others similar to it had been running through his head for days.
Without thinking, he drove to the park, and hiked out to the secluded spot that he and Aralyn had spent so much time at. The river ran right by it.
He stopped at the edge of the clearing and stared.
Aralyn stood with her back to him, arms crossed under her breasts, staring at the water. She wasn’t wearing a jacket and he knew she was cold.
Cam didn’t know if he should approach or leave. As he decided to leave, his foot crunched a twig and she whipped around, taking a defensive stance, eyes scared. When the hell was Aralyn Duke scared of something? He wondered. Then he realized her hand was in her pocket and he knew it would be her gun. A very large, wolfish-looking dog, stood at her side, hackles up, and he heard the low growl.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said quickly. “I was going to leave.”
“Oh, you don’t have to,” she said quietly, reaching down to touch the dog. “I didn’t realize it was you.”
Her thin, long sleeved shirt was doing nothing to keep her warm; he could see she was shivering. The jeans clung to her once-curvy figure, and her hair was in a messy ponytail. She was still beautiful, but she had lost weight and her were eyes were haunted. The large dog next to her eyed him warily. It was a Malamute, he thought, not a wolf. Mean enough looking, but beautiful.
“Duke, you just don’t learn about jackets, do you?” he tried to smile but she didn’t. Shrugging his jacket off, he moved to wrap it around her, freezing when she flinched and the dog growled. Aralyn Duke flinched for nothing. The dog was on full alert, but let him close to her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Oh, nothing,” she lied, letting him put his jacket around her. “Thank you. I wasn’t thinking when I left the house.”
“How was the trip?” he asked, studying her. Would she talk about it? he wondered. The dog was eyeing him, unsettling Cam. At least it wasn’t growling, he thought.
“Good,” she answered blandly. “We traveled all over the south, visited Daddy’s hometown of Hazzard, saw the hospital we were born in, in Atlanta. Went all over Florida. headed West, out to California. Saw the redwoods, the Grand Canyon. Even Mt. Rushmore.” Her eyes didn’t meet his.
Aralyn Duke had lost her confidence, he realized, the pain in his heart growing steadier. That incident had changed something fundamental in her. He was talking to a shadow of her, a very basic copy of Aralyn. The real Aralyn was in there somewhere.
“You look good,” he said softly. The eyes were different, cautious, worried, spooked. But she was still his Aralyn. No, not his, he realized. Not anymore.
“Thank you. So do you,” she replied, eyes studying his broad shoulders. His chest had filled out a little more, and he looked so comforting. The urge to crawl into those strong, familiar arms was overwhelming, but she didn’t move. She knew he would hold her; he would make her feel safe. But she couldn’t make herself move.
“You doing okay? Since…Amarillo?” he asked softly.
“Right as rain.” She didn’t look him in the eye.
“You always were a bad liar. You’re not the same,” his bright blue eyes were staring her down.
“Well, you know, people change,” she hedged.
“You doing anything to work through it?”
“Yeah.”
“Pretty brave of you to be out here on your own.”
“Tiff and Nat are in the car, just through there.”
“The dog?”
“Meet Dixie. We found her on the road.”
She didn’t want to talk. Cam wasn’t an idiot. “She’s beautiful. Big.”
“She was pretty scrawny when we found her. She’s up to 102 pounds though. Might top out at 110, which is average for Malamute females.”
“Can I pet her?”
“That’s up to her. Hold out your hand. If she flattens her ears, back up.”
Cam did so, and the big dog rose to her feet, stretching her neck out to sniff at Cam. She moved closer and gave him a thorough sniffing before she nudged her muzzle under his hand. Gently, he rubbed top of her soft head.
“She likes you,” Aralyn gave the first hint of a smile.
“I like to think I have an affinity with Duke girls,” he smiled at her.
Her smile vanished.
“We think she was a runaway. She doesn’t have a chip and the local shelter said no one claimed her. We called around to local vets and no one had a report of her, so we brought her with us. She was in kind of bad shape, and had a lot of cuts and possibly abuse when we found her. There’s no telling where’s she from.”
“I think she’s where she needs to be,” Cam said. The dog was huge, he thought, powerful chest and legs. And intelligent. All one had to do was look into those eyes and he could feel himself being evaluated.
“If you ever want to talk, Aralyn,” he said softly, using her first name, such a rarity. “You know where to find me. I’ll always listen.”
She just nodded.
“We only saw the media version, but I know it had to be scary. Please don’t isolate yourself.” Please don’t isolate yourself from me, he thought.
“Tiff and Nat are with me all the time. So’s Dixie.”
“I just want you to know that you have others for support too,” he said.
She nodded.
“Can I…can I hug you?” he asked. “I’ll understand if you say no.”
She nodded stiffly. Cam stepped around the dog and wrapped his arms around her. After an initial moment of her standing awkwardly, she closed her eyes and he felt her relax.
Warmth flooded through her and then she relaxed in the familiar embrace, snuggling into his chest as she felt hot tears coming again. Dixie watched with interest.
Aralyn felt a hot tear slide down her cheek.
When she finally pulled away, he handed her a tissue.
“Always prepared,” she commented.
“Allergy season just started,” he said dryly, his thumb reaching up to her face and wiping away a tear. “I’m so sorry you went through that. If I had known, I would have come for you,” he said softly, one hand cupping her face.
Aralyn choked on her laughter as she looked up at him. “Your ex-girlfriend calls you up after taking off almost a year before because she’s in jail halfway across the country and you’d come running?” She couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of her voice.
“Yes, I would. I told you’d I’d always be around for you,” he said gently, wiping another tear. His lips ached to kiss her but he didn’t dare. Suddenly it was the homecoming dance all over again and he wanted to kiss her so very, very badly. But she wasn’t the exuberant, somewhat oblivious young girl she had been two years before.
“Cam—”
He couldn’t stop himself, lowering his lips to hers, and she didn’t push away. Their lips touched and Cam felt everything tilt.
Aralyn felt the hot rush through her but instead of grabbing on for more like she wanted, she pulled away.
“Cam, I don’t want—”
“I know,” he said quietly. “And I wasn’t trying to imply it. I’m actually, uh, I have a girlfriend. I had no business kissing you and I apologize. I just…I couldn’t resist. I could never resist you.” His face was burning red.
Aralyn nodded and stepped away from his embrace. The wall was back up, her posture stiff and formal as she crossed her arms again, a clear signal to him. “I don’t want to put you in a compromising position.”
“Aralyn, I’d like us to still be friends. I miss just hanging out with you, talking.”
Aralyn nodded. “Yeah, maybe. Listen, I should be getting home. Thanks for the jacket,” she shrugged it off and practically shoved it at him, hurrying away quickly, the big, fluffy dog at her side. Dixie turned her head and glanced at him, and Cam fought the urge to run after her.
Cam stood staring after her, holding his jacket. He raised it to his face to catch a lingering whiff of her perfume. She hadn’t changed it, he thought with a small smile.
***
It was several days later when he ran into her again, at the bookstore. And it wasn’t so romantic this time.
Leaving the science aisle, he glanced over to see a familiar blonde ponytail. She was standing in front of the sports section, looking over titles.
“Duke, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you in a bookstore before without a latte in your hand,” he smiled.
Aralyn jumped and turned around, hands coming up into a defense gesture, just as she had the other night. Her eyes were still skittish, her body tense. “Oh, yeah, on occasion I read.”
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he apologized.
“It’s ok,” she sighed. “I’m getting better.”
He knew it was a lie. Her blue eyes were cold and emotionless. She still wasn’t really in there.
“How have you been?”
“All right. Kind of sticking close to home,” she forced a smile. “My bodyguards are just over there.” He could see Tiffany and Natala, watching.
Cam was smiling back at her when a pair of hands covered his eyes.
“Ell,” he said, a note of warning in his voice.
A tall, slender girl with shoulder length blonde hair stepped out from around him. Her eyes were pale blue and her makeup was in the trendy heavy application, lipstick bright. Her expensive dark pantsuit clung to her and her blouse was low cut, revealing an ample amount of cleavage.
Aralyn knew it was a push up bra or implants because she knew the girl. And Ellen Murdock wasn’t happy to see her either.
“Baby, I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” she cooed, lacing her arm through his. “Aralyn? What are you doing back in town?”
“Aralyn, uh, you remember Ellen.” He said uncomfortably. If he had only had more time with Aralyn the other night! He hadn’t told her who he was dating.
Aralyn just stared. She bit her tongue because she wanted to say, “Really? Her? You replaced me with her?” but the words stuck. And suddenly she was very aware of her dirty cowboy boots, worn and hole-y jeans, too large t-shirt with the big latte stain, and sloppy hair. Not to mention the circles of fatigue under her eyes and the giant pimple on her chin.
“Of course, she remembers me,” Ellen said arrogantly, with a triumphant smile.
*
Ten feet away, Tiffany did a double take. “Oh, no.”
“What?” Natala looked up from the book the pair had been glancing through.
“C’mon. Rescue mission.”
Natala shoved the book on the shelf and hurried after Tiffany. She assessed the situation they were walking towards and did not like it. The other blonde had a very dark, malicious aura and it was trying to exert itself on Aralyn’s. Aralyn’s aura had shrunk since the incident, as she retreated into herself. And this girl’s aura was easily overpowering Aralyn. Natala wasn’t going to stand for that. She knew who the girl was.
“Ari, there you are! I’m so ready for that latte!” Tiffany linked her arm through her cousin and spoke cheerfully. Natala mimicked the maneuver, and pushed her own aura back out at Ellen. She could see Ellen physically step back a little. “Hi, Cam!”
“Hey, Tiffany, Natala.” Cam greeted them. He had seen a lot of Natala since she had started dating Dean.
Ellen suddenly looked very uncomfortable and awkward. Natala kept pushing her aura out. This bitch needed a smackdown, she thought.
“Hi, Cam,” Natala replied. The girl clinging to Cam was a predator. Natala could practically see the claws sunk into Cam, and he didn’t look very happy. This was the girl Dean despised, evidently. Dean staunchly refused to go on a double date with them, or hang around the apartment if she was there, so Nat hadn’t met Ellen yet.
“Who’s this?” Ellen asked, with an appraising, interested look at Natala.
“Our cousin, Natala. She didn’t go to school with us.”
“You don’t look a thing like them,” Ellen commented. She held out her hand. “Ellen Murdock. Wait, Natala? As in Dean’s girlfriend? Well, well, well. We meet at last.”
Natala stared her down for a brief moment, then snorted and didn’t take the offered hand. She didn’t want to touch the girl.
“Let’s go get that latte. Bye Cam!” Tiffany chirped, as she and Natala steered Aralyn away.
“That was rude!” They heard Ellen snap.
Cam sighed.
Ellen turned to him. “I certainly hope you aren’t thinking of tossing me over now that she’s back in town,” she said icily.
“I had heard she was back, I didn’t know for sure,” Cam answered. He wasn’t about to tell her about running into Aralyn a few nights before.
“Considering all the plans we’ve made for this summer, I hope you aren’t going to go panting after her the way you did in school.”
Cam just shook his head. Why was he going out with Ellen again? He wondered Because she’s a pathetic attempt at filling that gaping cavern in your heart, idiot, a tiny voice answered.
*
The cousins headed for the cafe.
“Wow, is she cheap,” Natala appeared next to her cousin. “All flash, total trash.”
Aralyn shrugged, but smiled faintly at her cousin’s comment.
“I’m telling you, you two belong together. Give it time. He’ll see her for what she is and ditch her.”
“It’s not really my business,” Aralyn said softly.
Natala snorted.
“Actually, guys, I’m not really in the mood for a latte. I’ve lost my appetite. Can we just go?”
Her cousins exchanged a glance at the un-Aralyn-like attitude and comment. “Of course,” Tiffany said.
Aralyn didn’t speak the entire ride home.
***
Cam lay awake that night, like he had for the last three. Ellen had gone home, pissed off that he wasn’t in the mood for sex and hadn’t been for several days. Not since the night he had seen Aralyn.
He couldn’t help it. Aralyn was back in town. They lived only twenty minutes apart, and she was all he could think about since Dean told him. He had been vague and distant with Ellen since, and she had caught on, especially after today in the bookstore. She had yelled at him, threatened to break up with him, and all he could do was sit there and watch her, and wonder what he saw in her. Finally she stormed out but he knew she’d call tomorrow, apologize, and they’d be okay until her next tantrum. That was the pattern whenever Aralyn’s name came up.
Cam had to find a way to end it with her. In the beginning, she had known he was still hurting from losing Aralyn, and understood he wasn’t emotionally available. He had thought they might have a brief fling, but it had been several months now, and he felt trapped.
He had to end the relationship. Even if Aralyn didn’t take him back, and she probably wouldn’t, he could be with Ellen any more. Not when he knew Aralyn was back in town.
***
Aralyn stared at the rows of hair color. Consciously she ran a hand over her newly cut hair. It had grown back out while on the road, but earlier that day, she had a paid a visit to a hairdresser. Now her golden locks barely skimmed the tops of her ears in a pixie cut, and the curl had pulled up through the layers, giving her a saucy, curly short cut.
She opted against the raven blacks. Brown didn’t appeal to her though it would make her look more Tiffany. That wouldn’t be so bad, she thought with a smile. Might freak her cousin out a little though.
Reaching the reds she stared at the auburns. Finally she reached for the box with a vibrant, copper shade. There were some that were more purple than red, some more orange, and some pinker. She liked this one she thought, it was almost a fire red. It appeared to have a coppery, almost gold casting to it. That would work.
She picked up the box and headed for the register.
***
Trixie Duke had just set the sliced porkloin on the table when her twin sons stopped their chattering abruptly. That got her attention.
Turning, her china blue eyes widened when she saw her daughter. At least, she thought it was her daughter. The plate slipped from her hand, landing safely on the table with a soft thump as she turned pale.
“Aralyn?” Trixie managed.
The tall girl in the doorway smiled shyly. Her long golden hair was gone, replaced by short, fiery red curls.
“Yeah. What do you think?” she asked hesitantly.
“I think you’ve lost your damn mind,” Leif blurted out.
“Your head looks like a carrot,” Logan said tactlessly. “And they call me insensitive!”
“I think you better go wash that out before your father gets home,” Trixie finally managed to speak.
“Wash what out before I get home? Hello family!” Bo’s cheerful greeting died on his lips as he stared at his only daughter.
“What do you think, Daddy?” she asked with a small smile.
Arlayn’s smile vanished as the blood drained from Bo Duke’s face and he suddenly looked ill.
“Aralyn, what were you thinking?” Trixie found some words.
Aralyn looked to Bo for support but there was none to be had. His face suddenly flushed red and he turned on his heel, stalking from the room.
Tears welled in Aralyn’s eyes.
“That’s pretty damn insensitive of you,” Leif told her. “What made you do it?”
Arlayn turned to her younger brother. “What? I just wanted a change!”
“You picked a shade of that’s almost identical to Jim Frayne, you dimwit,” Leif pointed out.
The words sunk in and Aralyn’s hand flew to her mouth as she realized her brother was right. She glanced at Trixie, who was rubbing her temple and looking ill also.
“Oh, no,” Aralyn whispered.
She headed for Bo’s office but the door was shut, a sign that he didn’t want to be disturbed.
Brushing her tears back, Aralyn grabbed her purse and headed for the front door.
***
Bo sat in his office, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk, head in his hands.
Of all the colors. Of all the colors his beautiful baby girl had chosen red. And not just any red. His red. Jim Frayne’s red.
Over the years Bo had caught Jim looking at his daughter wistfully, and he was sure his former rival was wondering what Aralyn would like had she been born with red hair and named after his late mother. Jim had wanted to name Valerra afte rhis mother, but hallie wouldn't let him, and the girl had Hallie's black hair instead of Jim's bright red.
After the move to White Plains, Bo had often wondered if Trixie ever thought about what her children would be like if they had been fathered by Jim instead of him.
Now they knew. Part of Bo understood how survivors often wanted to change their appearance after being attacked. He wasn’t surprised she had cut her hair. It made her look more like a young Trixie. But the red. Dear God, why had she chosen red?
He ran his hands thorough his thick blond hair, hair that was the same shade as his daughter’s, until a couple of hours ago.
Bo knew he shouldn’t have walked out the way he did, but the initial shock was too much. Why did she have to choose that shade? He knew his reaction had hurt his daughter but he needed time to regroup, and pull himself together before he could face her looking like that.
***
Aralyn left the salon with Tiffany. It was midafternoon and they headed back to the Wheeler apartment in the city.
After Bo’s initial horror, Aralyn ran to the one person she knew would help her. Tiffany had opened the door, taken one look and whisked Aralyn into her room. The first call went to Natala to join them, the second to Sulan, Daisy’s favorite hairstylist for photo shoots and runways. He had known both girls for years and would have hurt feelings if anyone else cut their hair. He was not happy to hear what Aralyn did.
Aralyn sighed and flung herself on Tiffany’s bed. “I can’t believe I did that,” she sighed. “You should have seen Daddy’s face.”
“Oh, I can imagine,” Tiffany answered, leafing through a magazine.
“He must be so mad at me,” Aralyn said sadly, her finger tracing the pattern on the comforter.
“Don’t even go there, cuz,” Tiffany said. “I’m sure he’s not. He was probably just stunned and hurt.”
“He’s been so great through all of this, reassuring me I don’t have to go see doctors and whatnot, and then to show up with red hair...”
“I’m sure he knows you didn’t do it on purpose,” Tiffany said. “It was just a shock.”
The trio was headed into the city within the hour, to stay at the condo that the Wheeler’s kept available for the family to use. They had purchased the adjoining condo years ago and combined the two.
This morning, bright and early, Sulan had canceled two other appointments to take care of Aralyn’s hair.
First he had lectured Aralyn on letting others “butcher your beautiful hair!” Then he evaluated the red, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Then the chemicals began. Aralyn just kept her eyes closed and Tiffany and Sulan consulted and debated on how to fix the disaster.
Several hours later, Aralyn’s hair had been cut slightly shorter and colored a deep gold as close to her natural color as he could get.
“I feel like Shirley Temple,” Aralyn sighed. “But it looks a lot better than it did.”
“Wow,” Natala said in admiration. “That looks fantastic!”
“Just wait to see what I can do with your hair,” Sulan eyed the straight, shiny raven locks. Natala laughed.
Aralyn stared at herself in the mirror.
***
That evening, she arrived home quiet and withdrawn. The twins were in the living room arguing over their Xbox while Sean sat at the kitchen table, idly drawing.
“Mom?” Aralyn found Trixie in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner. She had called the night before to tell her mother they were headed to the city.
Trixie turned and blinked a couple of times.
“Twice in 24 hours?” she asked.
Arlayn shook her head, running her hand through her now short hair.
“I can’t believe I was so stupid,” she sighed. "Sulan saved me."
Trixie dried her hands and turned to face her daughter.
“You’re not stupid, Aralyn. You just didn’t think,” Trixie answered. “Like most members of this household, you did something on impulse without thinking about the consequences.”
Aralyn swallowed. “Has Daddy come out of the study?” she asked.
Trixie nodded. “He’s on the patio, having a beer.”
Aralyn headed for the patio, nervous. She found Bo tuning his guitar mindlessly, staring into space. He only did that when he was disturbed by a case.
“Daddy?” she asked softly.
Bo turned, and saw what he always did. A cherub faced, chubby little blonde girl with sloppy pigtails and chocolate pudding on her shirt. He blinked, and realized there was now a tall, golden haired young woman standing in front of him. The short curls reminded him so much of Trixie when she was younger that it had to sink in who he was looking at.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he smiled at her, his heart hurting as he realized she had changed her hair again. She had done for that him.
She sat next to him on the bench, resting her head on his shoulder.
“I didn’t think,” she said quietly. He slipped one arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of her head. “I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t either,” he sighed. “I just couldn’t see you like that.”
“I never meant to hurt you, Daddy. It was really insensitive of me.”
“I didn’t handle it as well as I should have,” he admitted. “We’re just a couple of hotheaded Dukes. I never should have walked out like that.”
“I got a double dose of it,” she said dryly. “I didn’t even consult Tiff or Sulan. I just did it.”
“Sweetheart, if you want red hair, you ain’t gotta change it ‘cause of me,” he said. “If it makes you happy, then I’m for it. You’d look beautiful even if you were bald.”
Arlayn smiled. “You’re biased. I’ve never been bald.”
“You were bald when your mama popped you out,” he answered. “I caught you, I oughta know.”
She chuckled. “I just wanted something to make me a little less…I don’t know. I’m not ashamed of who I am, Daddy.”
“I know that, sweetheart,” he rested his cheek against her head. “It just took me by surprise. You had some trauma and it’s normal to want change your appearance.”
“It’s taken care of now,” she assured him. “Sulan ordered me to come to him for any coloring and he said he’d find a non offensive red if I want one.”
Bo smiled down at her. “Well, I must admit I’m partial to your blonde, but you’re always beautiful to me.”
Aralyn blinked back her tears as she hugged him.
***
Aralyn was surprised to see the knock at her door was Honey. Daisy had come by, and told her about the night she had killed a man named Earl, who was trying to rape her, and could have killed Dan. It had been emotional for both, but Aralyn had felt slightly better.
“Mind if I come in?” Honey asked.
“Of course not,” Aralyn sat up. She was perched in her window seat, a book nearby, and Dixie curled up next to her. “To uh, what do I owe the pleasure?”
She admired how put together Honey looked, as always. Just like Tiffany. Today, Honey wore soft slacks in dark green, and a pale yellow blouse. Her jewelry was simple gold, her honey colored hair swept up into an elegant updo. The minimal makeup brought out the big hazel eyes that were always so kind.
“I just wanted to come by and talk,” Honey said. “To tell you that I have some understanding of what you’ve been going through.”
Honey didn’t miss the wariness that appeared in Aralyn’s eyes.
“Like how?” her cousin asked. Dixie got up, hopped down and made a big stretch of herself before resettling under Aralyn on the floor. Honey rubbed her ears and took the vacated set next to Aralyn.
“This isn’t a well known story, but when I was with the Marshals, I killed a man once.”
Aralyn’s eyes widened. “You did?”
Honey nodded.
“What happened? How?” she demanded.
“It was the day your father proposed to Trixie. The untold part of the story.”
“You shot that man, the one that almost killed Dad.”
Honey nodded. “Dan fired right after me, but mine was the killing shot.”
“How’d you do it?” Aralyn asked, awed. Gentle, sweet, Honey Wheeler, ex-US Marshal, had killed a man. The image of her in shooting down a man was almost impossible to see.
“I didn’t think about it,” Honey said, looking her in the eyes. “I was trained to shoot to kill when necessary. A fugitive had a gun on one of my best friends, and we had a limited opportunity. This man was a drug dealer, and we had chased him up this building. He was determined to get away and we were just as determined to get him. I was behind him in the stairs but he was faster.
“He had just shot Bo, and I shot him. I had one opportunity and I took the shot without hesitation, and I swear to you, Aralyn, the world stopped moving. It was eerie, as if there was nothing else going around me. Everything just stood still. The bullet hit him right in the heart, and he went down. I yelled at Trixie to go to Bo, and all I could do was stare at this man: This man, whom I shot. I knew he had kids somewhere, and that he owed thousands in unpaid child support. But I didn’t think about who he might have left behind, all I could think about, was that if I had fired two seconds sooner, Bo might not have gotten shot at all. And if one of my best friends died, it would be my fault.”
“You can’t know that, though,” Aralyn said. “You can’t know what he would have done.”
Honey nodded. “It took a number of months of visiting the psychologist to see that, though. Standard procedure that I had to see one. It goes against my very nature to kill, Aralyn, but I knew that when I joined the Marshals, I might have to someday. I knew the very first day I picked up a gun, that someday I might have to shoot it, and I was being trained to shoot with deadly accuracy. When it came down to the wire, I did my job, and I killed a man to protect your father.”
“I never thought I’d have to use the gun,” Aralyn admitted after a moment of silence. “I thought Dad was just being overprotective. I guess I never really thought about the fact I might actually need it someday. Not that I thought it was a toy, I mean Dad drilled it into our heads years ago that guns weren’t toys and if we wanted to learn how to use them, we had to understand one day we might need them, but...you know me. That part didn’t really sink in, and I just…never thought I’d really have to use it. Seeing that man there, Honey, that man just laying there, I swear I saw his life drain away right in front me.” Aralyn shuddered violently. "It was nothing like...like what I thought. I always thought it's be easy to pull a trigger, but it wasn't. Not that time."
Honey reached over and took her hand. “Those are images that will take a long time to go away, but eventually they will. I killed that man to save my partner. You killed that man to save yourself. Aralyn, if he had gotten to you, the things he could have done…it was self defense. And there’s no judge or jury who will see it differently. A violent drunk attacked a young girl, unprovoked. Your parents gave you that gun for self defense, and that’s what it was used in. You couldn’t have known that man was going to be waiting there for you, any more than I could have known Bo was about to die.”
“It was Tiffany’s turn to load the car,” Aralyn blurted out. “But she was in the bathroom, so I got started. I keep thinking it could have been her and she might not have been able to pull the trigger. It could have been her, and she…Honey, it could have been her!”
Honey nodded. “You’re the stronger of the two of you, Aralyn, we all know it. I don’t know that Tiffany could have made the decision, and something even more horrible could have happened before you got to her. And I think that would tear you up a thousand times worse than this would.”
Aralyn nodded. “I’d never forgive myself.”
“You’ll get through this, darling, you will. It will just take time, but in the meantime, Aralyn, you can’t shut out the world and hide up here. The world won’t stop for you, it will keep on going. And you can’t show it that you’re afraid to leave you house.”
“And the jumpiness? Not wanting to leave my room?”
“I think Dr. Wilman will tell you that it’s normal. This is your safety den. This beautiful dog is your round-the-clock guardian. But you can’t hide out forever, Aralyn. I was forced to go back to work, get back on the job, and move forward. You don’t have that force behind you, but you need to think about it. You’re going to look over your shoulder for a while, but that’s okay. You know now that you can defend yourself, and while we’d rather not have you running around with a gun in your hand, you’re going to come out stronger than ever. But the most important thing to know is that this wasn’t your fault. It was that man’s fault. He came looking for you, you told him to back off and stand down, and he made the choice to attack you. You defended yourself, Aralyn, and everyone knows it. Now you just need to realize it, and accept it.”
Aralyn nodded.
***
Aralyn was rinsing the soap off of her mother’s SUV when she heard AC/DC pulling up behind her. Turning, she wasn’t surprised to see Cam’s Jeep. At least The Bitch wasn’t with him, she thought. She couldn’t deal with her. Not today.
Dixie lay in the sun on the grass, snoozing, but sat up as soon as she heard the loud music. The dog was well trained; she never went to the street and was rarely more than six feet from Aralyn. Only the fact Aralyn was washing the car kept her about ten feet away. Dixie did not like water.
“Hi, Duke,” he called cheerfully, walking up the short drive. Dixie sat up, watching with interest.
“Hi, Kent,” she replied casually. What was he doing here?
“I was in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by. Want some help with that?” he asked, as she tossed the hose down and reached for a towel.
“No, thanks. I got it.”
Dixie decided she needed an ear rub and got up, stretched her long body and padded over to Cam, where she waited expectantly. Cam understood and reached to rub her big ears.
“Friendly thing, aren’t you?” he asked, marveling at her pale eyes.
“Yes and quite the ego. Even Mom and Dad love her. Sean worships her. She sleeps with me, but sometimes goes into Sean’s room to check on him.” She didn’t mention that she couldn’t sleep unless Dixie was in the room with her, and it wasn’t unusual to find Sean curled up against her in the morning, or Bo asleep in her chair next to her bed.
Aralyn was drying the car as she talked, and Cam couldn’t help but watch her figure move around. She had lost too much weight, he realized, there was noticeably less of the rounded curves that he had so loved. He remembered all too well what it was like to lie next her, that golden, silky hair spilling everywhere, pressed up against her...
Finally she turned to him as he was rubbing the tummy of a blissful Dixie. “She just looks fierce; she’s not nearly as ferocious as you’d think.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Cam studied the dog. “I think she just knows I won’t hurt you.”
Aralyn just smiled. Finally the car was dry and she turned to him. “What are you doing here, Cam?” she asked quietly.
He stood after giving Dixie a final ear rub and faced her.
“I like your hair,” he answered.
She crossed her arms over her chest , waiting.
“I’m worried about you. I still care about you, Aralyn.” She looked down at the ground. “I know we’re not together and I’m not trying to force anything like that, but I’ve always cared about you.”
Finally she looked up and Cam couldn’t read her face, for once. “That’s really sweet, Kent, but I’m fine. I never meant for you to start coming around to check up on me. I have my family. I’m okay, really.”
Cam knew that was a lie too. Aralyn Duke didn’t shut her emotions off. Not like this. Her emotions had always flashed across her face. But now, there was nothing.
“I appreciate your concern, Kent, I do. But you have your own life now, and I have mine. And they don’t mesh. So please, don’t keep checking up on me,” her eyes were imploring.
Cam felt the pain in his heart grow a little sharper. He knew she was upset about Ellen. “I ran into Ellen on campus last fall.”
Aralyn held up one hand. “It’s not my business, Cam. Who you date is entirely up to you. I told you not to wait, and to meet other people.”
“It took some of the loneliness away,” he continued. “But she was never what I really wanted.”
Aralyn closed her eyes for a moment and Cam could see she was struggling for control.
“Cam, please, don’t. You don’t owe me an explanation. Just please go. Please.”
Cam hesitated, then nodded slowly. “All right. You still have my number? It hasn’t changed.”
She nodded.
“Will you call me sometime? If you need anything, even someone to listen to whatever you-think-is-nonsense you have running through your head.” That brought a small smile. “Please?”
“I will,” she answered, knowing she would never call him. It hurt too much to see him standing there, her beautiful, strong, Cam, who she knew would have come running to her side had she called him. To know that he was with her, making love to her at night, made her want to puke.
Cam turned when he reached the Jeep. “Hey, Duke?”
“Yeah?”
“She can’t compare to you. No one can. Ever.”
With that, he got into the Jeep and started it. Aralyn watched him drive away.
After he was gone, she sat on the grass next to Dixie, who laid her head in Aralyn’s lap. The light blue eyes looked up at her imploringly and she gave a small whine.
“I know, old girl. But if we got back together, it would just be a disaster. People change, and after a year, we’re different people, and in two years we’ll be different people again. Better to save a messy breakup by just not letting it happen,” she rubbed the dogs ears. “But I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone the way I love him.”
Dixie whined softly and thumped her tail.
Meet the cast in full & see the family tree!
***
Author’s Notes
- It's my Jixaversary! Six years, wow. Thank you to all of my editors, past and present, my fellow mods, esp the ALT team, CathyP, and of course, all of my readers. without you to encourage me, I'd have nowhere to play.
- A huge yeee-haa to Ronda, not only my lovely editor who helps keep me on track, but is one of my dearest friends.
- Honey's account is an event from Down the Road, Chapter 6.
- Word Count, 6,904
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